What I’m about to share with you happened several years ago, but it stays with me. It says so much about the connection between human beings, and it says so much about how sometimes the little things make all the difference.
Some of you (maybe all of you) will remember that terrible tsunami that wreaked such horrible damage in Japan back in 2011.
The tsunami hit Japan on March 11, 2011. An earthquake of 9.1 magnitude rocked the ocean only 230 miles from Japan, resulting in waves 30 feet high weighing more than 10 tons per linear foot and traveling more than 40 miles per hour. That tsunami flattened entire communities. It destroyed hundreds of thousands of acres of food crops all along the Japanese coast and for miles inland. It killed more than 20,000 people and destroyed entire cities, homes, businesses, and schools (while schools were in session with kids in classes). Another 2,000 people never have been found. This tragedy broke human hearts all over this planet.
When I read the first reports, I was touched and saddened and so I followed the news closely, reading that many Japanese-Americans had lost loved ones or, maybe worse, didn’t even know whether their loved ones were alive or dead, but many did hear that their families were gone and that their deaths were likely violent and terrifying. I donated to the Red Cross. I hoped and prayed, but felt there wasn’t much else I could do.
For many years, including during the tsunami year of 2011, I owned a boat that I kept at the Des Moines Marina right on the saltwater shores of Puget Sound in Washington State. And I had an excellent dog, Alex, that went with me everywhere and was my very best buddy. So this one day in March, 2011, just one day after that horrifying tsunami, for a bit of a break from the news, I took Alex to the marina and to the boat so I could do a bit of maintenance on the boat. It was a beautiful day and lots of people were there!
I thought it was just a regular lovely day, but … well … here’s the rest of the story.
From Des Moines to Japan, the human connection of tragedy
(Originally published March 25, 2011, in The Seattle Times)
Guest columnist Ann Hay reflects on a chance encounter she had with an elderly Japanese couple at Des Moines Marina and their shared moment considering the tragedy in Japan.
This past Saturday, I got in my car with my dog Alex to drive to the Des Moines Marina to work on my boat. Once I arrived, the sun was shining and warm, so I took Alex for a walk knowing that, this time of year, in an hour or two, it could be raining cats and dogs and a walk would be pretty miserable.
So we walked around the marina grounds to the north end of the marina where there is a park, a fishing pier, and a large parking lot. Lots of folks fish off that pier, sit in their parked cars, or walk around and simply enjoy the view of Puget Sound and the extraordinary peace there.
But this past Saturday was different. Alex and I passed one particular car that had a very elderly Japanese couple in it. I remember making eye contact with one or the other of the occupants, who both were obviously crying. Then I quickly moved on, not wanting to embarrass them or me.
But only a few feet later, I realized that they wouldn’t be here — out in the open, in public — if they were embarrassed and that it was mostly me who was embarrassed. My heart just stopped. And I hung my head.
I turned and walked back towards the car and made very purposeful eye contact with the two people, difficult as that was for me. They were crying so hard. But they both looked right at me. And as soon as we made eye contact, I stopped walking and started crying too. Right there in the parking lot. For a fraction of a second, I was embarrassed again, but then I didn’t care about being embarrassed.
I just cried. I stood there a moment and then walked to the car and laid my hand on the hood and just stood there, looking out across the saltwater of Puget Sound. They knew I was there and they knew I was crying. Fairly quickly, the woman opened the passenger window and held out her very small hand to me. I went to the window and knelt down and held her hand (and she held mine) and all three of us cried. He reached over and touched her so that all three of us were touching.
There were no words. We just cried. Really big tears. Together.
And we looked out over the saltwater of Puget Sound knowing that these waters move north and then turn left at the Strait of Juan de Fuca and then flow to Japan — that all of these molecules of water touch each other. Even in the parking lot at Des Moines, Wash., we knew we were looking right at Japan. And we cried.
Eventually, I got up and let go of her hand, and she of mine. With my hands pressed together, I bowed deeply to them. They exclaimed and said words I didn’t understand but that I think I do understand. I said, “God bless you,” and they said words to me that surely meant the same.
I hope their sadness and loss is a bit less, or that, with shared human compassion, it is a bit more bearable. I can’t imagine losing family with so much tragedy when you’re so far from home.
Though I may never see these people again, they are my family.
Aww sad story.
Oh, yes it was so sad. And yet it was also a life lesson about paying attention and connecting with other humans beings who maybe I thought were “different” than I was, but in the end, not different at all. Sometimes blessings come from sad events, yes?
What a powerful day the 3 of you had. I’m happy you were there for them.
Oh gosh me too! It wasn’t until afterwards that I realized that those two people were there for me too. There was no requirement that they reach out to me, but they did. That connection meant a great deal to me. And it taught me that there is more out there, more that I can do and more that I can experience, if only I can stop and watch and listen.
So touching, and a reminder of a horrible, horrible tragedy.
Such a horrible tragedy! And yet, there were blessings that came out of it. I remember watching a video online of a former WWII Navy pilot whose plane had been shot down and everyone killed by the Japanese except him, and he was tortured. He lived with hate for the rest of his life … until this tsunami … when he finally realized that life, everyone’s life, is precious, and tragedy hurts everyone, not just him. He was one of the first people to go to Japan as soon as people were allowed to come in and help. The video showed him in Japan with the few people still living from a small community, all of them trying to rebuild (and find their neighbors and their families). This big tough guy talked a bit and then cried and then talked and then cried … said he finally found out what it means to love and to be part of a worldwide solution. I think this tragedy woke a lot of people up. I hope so. It’s one of the events in my life that reminds me to stop and look and listen, even if it’s just to listen to the trees, or watch a fish jump in the river, or lend a hand to someone who needs a hand.
I’m kind of a big guy too, but I have to admit that I didn’t even get half way through this when I noticed some moisture in my eyes. That was a really great thing you did for those folks Ann. Thank you from me. I will try to remember the lesson because it’s a good one!
You are welcome Tim. Sorry about the “moisture” but I like that you understand. May we ALL learn and remember that lesson about paying attention and caring for each other.